


nothing quite like you

by allthefadinglights



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Formula 2 RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: 5 stages of friendship + 1 bonus, 5+1 Things, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthefadinglights/pseuds/allthefadinglights
Summary: The five stages of Marcus and Callum's friendship - and one more.
Relationships: Marcus Armstrong/Callum Ilott
Comments: 8
Kudos: 87





	nothing quite like you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Theaholt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theaholt/gifts).



> Callum’s 2018 teammates were Jake Hughes, Anthoine Hubert and [Mick’s 2021 Haas teammate]. I’ve refrained from naming them aside from Jake, [redacted] for obvious reasons and Anthoine because it feels wrong for me personally to write him into fiction. That is also the reason I don’t go into any detail whatsoever about the Spa accident, there’s nothing graphic, no descriptions, it’s all just implied by me working around naming names. I did way too much research into the 2018 GP3 and European F3 series for this so any and all references to those series are actual events. 
> 
> I wrote this over multiple days, which is a rare occurrence for me because usually, I just want instant gratification from the effort and time I put into writing. The whole thing swings wildly between being dialogue-heavy and just descriptions, I still sort of struggle finding a good balance between the two. This was a prompt sent to me on Tumblr by Theaholt, and I liked it so much I wanted to write it. So I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Also, apologies for any double spacing. My space bar is having some issues and I don’t always see it when it happens.

**I - Strangers**  
It’s Callum’s first day in Maranello. As a member of their driver academy, that is. He’s been here twice before - once when he was very little, because the red cars have always been iconic and little Callum was obsessed with them, so his parents took him on holiday to Maranello years ago. The second time was to sign his contract, a few weeks ago. That had just been a quick meeting, in and out of the office and no time to look around the factory or meet anyone else. Now, he’s going to be introduced to the other academy members and be shown around the factory. Of course, he’s done his research and he knows the other members by name. He’s the only member newly taken on, so he’ll be the odd one out for a while - but Callum has never had problems making friends. Apparently his easy-going and friendly demeanour makes him quite popular. 

Right, time to stop standing around and get the awkward introductions over with. It still feels unreal, stepping into the Ferrari offices, like he’s not supposed to be here and security is about to kick him out any second. But the badge on his lanyard and his shirt say otherwise. He’s a part of this now. It’s bizarre. He remembers the way to the office where he signed his contract, walks as slowly as he can to admire the decades of history on display - trophies, posters, so many pictures. He arrives at the office far too soon for his liking, knocking on the door and waiting for someone to open it. The person who opens it is not who he’s expecting, however. It’s one of the drivers, Callum thinks his name is Marcus - if he remembers right from his research. He’s young - looks young, but friendly enough as he lets Callum in with a big smile. 

“Ah, Callum, right on time,” someone greets him as he steps inside the office. Callum remembers his name is Marco Matassa, head of the driver academy. “Everyone, this is our newest recruit, Callum Ilott. Giuliano, he’ll be in GP3 with you this year.” Callum takes a look around the room, trying to place the many different faces. Thankfully, they forgo the introductory round like he’s had many times in elementary school. It saves him some embarrassment from having to name accomplishments, because he has no titles. Yet. Obviously, he plans to change that. There’s a short lecture for all of them what they’re expecting of them this year, plans for training camps and other compulsory activities. After that, they’re sent down to the factory for a tour - thought Callum suspects everyone else already knows the factory, it’s just for his sake - though Callum gets asked to hang back for a second, together with Marcus. Judging from Marcus’ face, he doesn’t have a clue what this is about either.

“Right, Callum, since you’re gonna be spending a lot of time here in Maranello, we’ve decided to get you a place to live when you’re not racing or at home. The thing is, we’d like you to share the place with Marcus, since he’s not yet old enough to legally live on his own and he has to be in Italy a lot as well. Does that work for both of you or are we going to have to find another solution?” 

Callum shoots a sideways glance at the boy next to him who he met for the first time only ten minutes ago. Marcus has a neutral look on his face, but Callum thinks he detects a hint of fear in his expression. “As long as we have our own bedrooms it’s cool by me,” Callum says then. “I don’t mind sharing the rest of the place, but I do like my privacy.”

“Of course,” Matassa says, inclining his head. “It’s not dorms, it’s a proper little apartment. We’re renting it from an Italian family, it’s just down the street from here.”

“Then it’s absolutely fine by me,” Callum agrees easily. He’s pretty sure he spots some relief on Marcus’ face. He gets handed a key, Marcus another one, and then they’re also off to the factory. They can move in today if they’d want to, the apartment is fully furnished and they can add some personal touches to it. Callum decides to get his stuff from his hotel after the tour is over and move in - might as well, right? If it’s gonna be his home away from home for the next couple of years, might just get used to it. 

“Thanks,” Marcus says quietly, following Callum down the stairs. “I’ve just about had it with hotel rooms. I’m Marcus Armstrong, by the way. Judging by your face, you knew that already. But I figured I’d introduce myself properly if we’re going to be roommates.” 

Callum chuckles. “Callum Ilott, which you also knew already. I did do some research before I came here today.” There’s a silence as they enter the factory - not uncomfortable, but in way that shows neither of them really know what else to say. Thankfully, they don’t have to think about it for very long since the tour starts as soon as they join the group. It’s obvious the tour is really just for Callum, seeing everyone looks very bored and like they want it to be over, and Callum just takes in the many new things he sees. He feels like a kid on a field trip to the zoo. 

He moves in to the apartment in the evening, opening the front door only to find Marcus already there. “Hi again,” Marcus says cheerfully. “I’ve made dinner if you want some?”

“That sounds great, actually. Thanks. When did you get here?” Callum kicks off his shoes by the door, drops his keys on the table in the hallway. He leaves his suitcase in the hallway as well, figuring he’ll deal with that later. 

“Oh, about an hour ago,” Marcus answers as he turns off the stove. “I should warn you, I’m not the best cook in the world but it’s edible at least.” 

“That’s fine, I’m not one to complain about getting free food after a really tiring day,” Callum smiles. They’re quiet over dinner - Marcus has made a simple pasta dish and it actually tastes pretty decent - which isn’t that surprising considering he met Marcus for the first time this morning. He decides to make things a little less awkward though, asking Marcus where he’s racing this year. It sparks an easy conversation, Callum finding that Marcus has a tendency to be very sarcastic, though he tones it down a lot. He learns that Marcus is about a year and a half younger than him, moved to Europe when he was fourteen, and has been with Prema for his entire single seaters career. 

Callum falls asleep easily that night, not at all mad about his new living situation. He definitely could’ve gotten worse roommates, but he has a feeling he’d become friends with Marcus sooner rather than later.

* * *

 **II - Acquaintances**  
The first few days of living with Marcus are mostly a case of testing the waters - how messy can he be, should they establish house rules? As it turns out, Marcus is quite messy as well, so Callum doesn’t feel that bad about leaving his things lying around the house when he’s nearly tripped over one of Marcus’s shoes multiple times. He does agree to have a sit down with Marcus for some basic house rules, on the third day after they’ve moved in. 

“Nothing strict or wild, or anything,” Marcus clarifies. “Just some basic stuff. Lock the bathroom door when you’re using it, things like that.”

“Isn’t that common sense?” Callum asks, a little confused. 

“You’d be surprised how few people actually lock bathroom doors in their own house,” Marcus says. “I’ve walked in on people by accident a few too many times.” He shudders at the thought and Callum chuckles.

“Okay, lock the door, got it. We shouldn’t leave any dirty dishes when we’re away either. That’s my rule.”

Marcus wrinkles his nose. “Good one, that’d be disgusting. Otherwise, I think you’ve noticed I’m quite chaotic and messy by now. Is that okay or do you want me to keep all my stuff in my room?”

Callum shakes his head. “No, this is your home too, now, so we should just treat it as our home. I trust you not to steal anything of mine, so I’m fine being a bit messy, as long as there’s still a free path to the front door.” He catches Marcus smiling softly. “Oh, and any… activities should preferably be done in silence or when I’m not here.” 

“Right, I won’t have any dates over when you’re here. That is, if I ever had any. Bit too busy to find myself a boyfriend these days.” Callum stares at him when he realises what Marcus has just said, admiring the ease with which Marcus has just subtly come out to him. “That’s not a problem, is it?” Marcus asks, sounding a little aggressive. He looks like he’s shielding himself from any verbal attacks Callum might sling at him.

“Of course not,” Callum says quickly, blinking fast. “I was just thinking about how I admire the way you casually dropped it into the conversation. Very smooth. Thank you for trusting me with that. You didn’t have to, but you did anyway and I appreciate it.” It earns him another smile.

“Yeah, I prefer not to shout it from the rooftops, but since we’re gonna be living together, I’d rather you know instead of freaking out if I ever do bring someone home.” 

“Your secret is safe with me,” Callum promises, and he means it. He knows things like these can have a massive impact on a career, especially on someone like Marcus who’s still coming up through the ranks, still has to establish himself. It’s easier to let his driving speak for him, rather than disclosing his sexuality to everyone and be judged for that. Marcus lets out the breath he’d been holding, clearly relieved by Callum’s reaction.

“Thanks,” he says quietly. “Uh, I think that’s all from me for house rules. Unless you have something else?” 

Callum shakes his head. “No, I’m good. If something else comes up, we’ll establish a rule for it at the time if necessary. I should be going to bed now, though, they’re having me on the sim all day tomorrow and I know I’m always bloody exhausted after one of those days.” 

Marcus winces sympathetically. “Yeah, I know the feeling. Goodnight, Callum. I’m glad it’s you they had me live with.”

“No one else I’d rather babysit,” Callum jokes, poking Marcus in the arm as he gets up. “Goodnight Marcus.”

When Callum gets home the next day, exhausted and ready to roll into bed and sleep for a day, Marcus has dinner ready for him. He manages to say thanks, scarf his food down and then goes to bed. He wakes up late the next morning, realising he barely said anything to Marcus the night before and texts him a quick apology. He’s not sure what Marcus is doing today, but he adds _’breakfast?’_ to his text. Cereal doesn’t sound very appealing today, and he found a little cafe the other day when exploring Maranello on foot. Marcus texts back a _’sure’_ only a few seconds later, followed by _’i’m home btw so u can stop texting’_. Callum chuckles as he gets up, padding downstairs on his bare feet in shorts and a hoodie. He’s pretty sure his hair is an absolute mess, but he can’t be bothered to sort it out. Marcus will just have to get used to it.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Marcus deadpans, grinning when Callum glares at him. “What did you have in mind for breakfast? I assume it’s not cereal, or you wouldn’t have asked me. Unless your idea of a breakfast date is making me a bowl of cereal, in which case I feel very sorry for your previous dates.”

“How do croissants and espresso sound for a breakfast date? And just so you know, I happen to be an excellent date” Callum replies, huffing when Marcus laughs at him.

“Pretty damn good,” Marcus agrees, followed by “I do hope you’re not going like _that_ ,” gesturing at Callum’s outfit and messy hair.

“Shame, I was just planning to cross Maranello in my sleeping clothes looking like we got overrun by a zombie apocalypse on my bare feet.”

“Just get dressed, would you.” He does. He even sorts out his hair. They’re out the door five minutes later, Callum leading the way to the cafe. It’s not a very long walk, only a few minutes. He lets Marcus choose a table by the window, praying the staff speaks some English because his Italian is non-existent. As it turns out, Marcus does know some basic Italian and he manages to order for both of them after asking Callum what he wants in English. 

Sure, maybe croissants aren’t the most athlete friendly breakfast, but they’re really good and Callum’s pretty sure they can get away with eating them occasionally. The tea wakes him up properly, chatting to Marcus about their plans for the day and finding out that Marcus doesn’t have any responsibilities today either. Callum has some emails to answer and a bit of reading to do, but that’s done within the hour so he’ll have the rest of the day off. “You up for a movie?” he asks Marcus, who’s finishing his second espresso. He’s not sure how he’s not bouncing off the walls yet with all that caffeine, but it just seems to make Marcus more awake. 

“Yeah, just gotta get some gym time in first, if that’s okay? My body does not agree with croissants, but they’re so damn good.” 

“That reminds me, I should do some training as well. Mind if I join you? We can watch a movie after.” Callum’s well aware it sounds extremely domestic, the whole training together and watching movies part, but he enjoys Marcus’ company and he won’t have the energy after exercise to do anything other than lying on the sofa and watching a movie. Marcus nods, finishing the last bite of his breakfast and leaning back in his chair, waiting for Callum to finish his own breakfast. 

Callum has to say, he’s a little shocked by Marcus’ workout routine. It’s intense, involves some serious weight lifting and it takes a lot longer than Callum’s, who just does the bare necessities of staying fit and training his neck. He didn’t know Marcus was able to lift _that_ much weight, considering his general size, but it’s a lot more than he was expecting. He waits for Marcus to finish his workout, scrolling on his phone and texting some friends. He’s quite excited for the season to start, and also to be able to annoy Jake every race weekend. Their friendship is just like that, and it’ll be fun with the four of them in a team. ART has practically owned GP3 for years, so it’s likely one of them will end up winning the title - Callum just hopes it’ll be him, as he’s sure the others do as well. As much fun as it is having a good team relationship, everyone’s only there to win. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I didn’t know you had such a short routine,” Marcus says, coming over to him as Callum looks up from his phone. “This was a short one for my standards.”

Callum gapes at him. “You usually train even longer than this?” Marcus nods. “Wow. I’m just not the biggest fan of exercise, I only need it to stay fit. I’m skinny anyway, can’t be bothered trying to grow some decent muscles,” he chuckles. They take turns showering at home, Marcus first, and he’s already set up the tv and some drinks when Callum gets downstairs, feeling sufficiently drowsy and ready to disengage his brain for a while. He chuckles when he sees Marcus’ choice of movie. “Lord of the Rings?” 

“Yes, is that okay?” 

“Definitely, just didn’t peg you as the fantasy movies type. I’m all set to yell at Frodo for being dumb for the next three hours.” Callum lets himself fall down on the sofa, trying not to make himself too comfortable. “I’ll try not to fall asleep, but I can’t promise anything.” 

“I’ll kick you when you do,” Marcus threatens. “No falling asleep during Lord of the Rings, that’s not allowed.” Callum pouts at him. “Okay, fine, but you gotta watch the first hour at the very least,” Marcus gives in. Callum grins and presses play.

* * *

 **III - Casual friends**  
They catch breakfast together occasionally, whenever they’re both in Italy and if they have no other duties early in the morning. It’s the middle of summer, it’s boiling hot in Italy, and Callum decides that he’s really not built for this kind of weather. He can’t sit in the sun for more than five minutes without turning bright red, though he doesn’t really want to because he gets too hot anyway. Marcus seems a lot less bothered by it and Callum is reminded that his roommate is probably used to temperatures like these from home. “Callum, for the love of god, just get in the pool, would you,” Marcus sighs when Callum moves his chair again, back to the shade. He’s been doing some sort of weird musical chairs for the past hour, trying to get a tan while simultaneously trying not to die. 

“Just because you’re used to it,” Callum replies. “When I get in the pool it feels refreshing and I won’t be able to notice when I’ve been in the sun for too long and you’ll have to go out and buy me painkillers tonight.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Marcus says, throwing his phone down in the grass by his plastic garden chair and getting up. “Just get in the goddamn pool.” Callum protests loudly when Marcus grabs him by the wrist, dragging him from his comfortable place in the shade over to the pool. He has just enough common sense to drop his phone by his chair before that goes straight into the water as well, before Marcus - who is surprisingly strong for someone half a head shorter - pushes him into the pool. 

“I hate you,” he says to Marcus when he surfaces, attempting to get the water out of his ears. 

“No, you don’t,” Marcus says cheerfully, sitting on the edge of the pool and dangling his legs in the water. “I’ll tell you to get out before you burn to death without noticing. Promise.”

“What, and you’re just gonna sit there?” Callum asks, wading over to Marcus. “I don’t think so.” Marcus is too slow climbing out of the pool so Callum manages to grab him by the ankle and pull him into the water. 

“You’re so annoying,” Marcus mumbles when he comes up, wiping water out of his eyes. Callum is pleased to find that he knows for certain that Marcus is joking. It’s a relief to be comfortable around someone, especially if it’s someone you live with. He knows he doesn’t have to pretend to be someone other than himself, doesn’t have to be on his best behaviour constantly because Marcus knows what he’s like in any mood now - and vice versa. He can tell when Marcus wants to be left alone, or when he wants company because he hates being alone. They’ve actually become friends in the short period they’ve been living together. 

It’s fascinating to Callum how well he gets on with Marcus, how easy it is to live with him. Obviously, he wouldn’t have said no to the suggestion of them living together, especially not as a new recruit to the FDA, but it could’ve gone so many ways, ranging from disastrous all the way to moving out as soon as possible. Instead, he’s made a new friend, and he’s actually quite happy with Marcus being his roommate. During the season, of course, they’re not at home much but they’ve been here for a few weeks now and it’s gone by very smoothly. He knows when it’s okay to push Marcus, and when he just has to offer comforting silence. He’s even gotten Marcus to open up about being homesick, which was, as far as Callum understood, something Marcus usually hides very well. 

He’s planning to take Marcus out for his birthday tomorrow - just for dinner and maybe to a club afterwards, just a few streets away from their place so they won’t have to drive there. As long as they’re not wearing Ferrari gear, Callum highly doubts anyone’s going to recognise either of them, especially when everyone’s pretty drunk. 

“Time for you to get out of the water, mate,” Marcus calls over to him from where he’s climbed back out to sit on the edge again, trying to keep his hair out of his eyes. “Wouldn’t want you to sunburn your precious skin, now, would we?”

“Dickhead,” Callum says, but he gets out of the pool all the same.

Marcus is pleasantly surprised that Callum has remembered his birthday the next day, even though Callum had no idea what to buy him as a present. Marcus says it’s fine, because at least he remembered, and he’s celebrating with him. Callum still feels bad about it, though, so he offers to pay for their drinks that night as well. “I’m not gonna say no to that,” Marcus laughs, “but you do know what you’re signing up for, right? I’m not a lightweight.”

“You do look like one,” Callum retorts, earning himself a shove to the shoulder. “What? You do.”

“Bet you I can drink you under the table easily,” Marcus says and Callum nods.

“Okay, challenge accepted.”

They both get incredibly drunk, Callum is pretty sure he had Marcus pressed against his body at some point but he can’t really remember much, and somehow manage to make it home. They both have a hangover the next morning, Marcus claiming the sofa to lie down on as Callum just goes for the floor until they feel a little more human.

“I did drink a lot more than you did,” Marcus groans, pulling a pillow over his head. “So I won.”

“Won what, a terrible headache?” Callum mumbles back, but he has to close his eyes to stop the world from spinning around him. Neither of them won, if you asked him, considering they’re both incapable of doing anything other than lying down and complaining.

“I’m never letting you take me out again,” Marcus whispers, but Callum can tell he’s joking.

* * *

 **IV - Close friends**  
Callum’s gotten so used to having Marcus around now, it’s almost strange to be off to the first race and be on his own in his hotel room. He finds himself texting Marcus a lot, considers him a friend as much as a roommate by now. Marcus is racing European Formula 3 this year, as opposed to GP3, so he barely sees him. They stay in touch, though, and Callum watches as many of Marcus’ races as he can in between his own sessions. He’s impressed with his roommate, despite knowing Marcus has won a Formula 4 title previously, and texts him as much. Jake tells him he looks like a lovesick puppy, Callum attempts to kick him in the shins, the rest of the team just rolls their eyes. He puts his phone away when it’s time for his own race. Marcus texts him a _’good luck’_ back but Callum doesn’t see it until after the race.

He gets a podium, but he doesn’t get to admire his trophy for very long. He’s disqualified just after the race ends, along with his teammate, for some tyre infringement the team wasn’t aware of. It sucks, considering they had a third and fourth place, and he spends most of the briefing sulking. Marcus calls him when he’s back at the hotel, clearly having read the news of their disqualifications already. 

“Third and fourth, huh, that sucks,” Marcus says sympathetically. 

“They had me hand over the trophy to _that_ teammate because he inherited the podium from me,” Callum grumbles. He wouldn’t have had as much trouble giving away his fairly earned trophy to either of his two other teammates. 

“At least you have a few weeks off now,” Marcus says, trying to cheer him up. 

“Will you be in Italy as well?” Callum asks him, hopeful that he gets to see his roommate again. 

“No, sadly not. We got races in the weeks that you guys don’t. At least you’ll have plenty of time to watch my races now,” Marcus chuckles. “But don’t feel like you have to.”

“No, I want to,” Callum says quickly. “Gotta see what I’ll be up against in the near future.”

Marcus huffs out a laugh. “I don’t think I’ll be making much progress up the ladder anytime soon. You, on the other hand, might find yourself in an F2 seat next year. If you don’t let your teammates beat you to the title.”

“Yeah, right. That’s likely. They’re serious competition and I’d have to be virtually faultless.” 

“Hey, I’ve seen you drive, on a good day you’re absolutely flying. One lap pace especially.”

“Races aren’t just one lap, though, are they?” Callum mumbles.

“If you don’t stop moping I’m gonna have to call Jake to go and annoy you into being your normal self,” Marcus threatens. “Or if that doesn’t work, you have another teammate I can reach. Just have to send him the message and he’ll be over.”

Callum groans. “Alright _mom_ , I’ll get myself some dinner and annoy Jake into playing a game with me.” 

“Say hi to them for me,” Marcus replies cheerfully, ending the call before Callum can get another word in. He has no doubt Marcus would actually get them to drag him out of moping, so he decides to just go and get dinner.

The house is strangely empty when it’s just Callum, he’s decided. Of course, he spent half the summer here with Marcus, so there was always someone around to talk to or annoy when he was bored. But Marcus is away racing, first Germany and then Austria. And by the time he gets back, Callum will be off to Russia. He won’t be seeing Marcus until well into October. It’s weird. He doesn’t really like it. 

He does watch Marcus’ races when they don’t need him at the factory, watches his roommate do pretty well. One podium in Austria, good points in every other race. Callum’s own title challenge comes to an end in Russia. He doesn’t think he’s ever had a race weekend go this badly, without proper explanation for it. His tyres drop off inexplicably, his car overheats, it’s just a disaster. He leaves Russia without any points, knowing the only fight he’ll be able to put up at the final round is for second place.

* * *

 **V - Best friends**  
Marcus turned out to be right about Callum going to F2. He didn’t win GP3, had to concede first and second place to teammates, but he was still offered a seat, teaming up with a friend of both of them - Juan. It’s a steep learning curve for all the rookies, Callum gets thrown in the deep end straight away, binning it in the first qualifying to find himself going sideways into a styrofoam board and having to hitch a ride back to the pits. It’s not great, it’s difficult to learn how this car works when he’d only just familiarised himself with his GP3 car - but at least he got that to work for him despite not knowing exactly how far he could push it. This one, he pushes too far almost every single time, makes it go far beyond its limits and it often doesn’t pay off for him. 

His podium in Barcelona doesn’t prove to be a sign of things improving - aside from his qualifying pace. On a one lap level, he’s good, he can make the car work for him. It’s the tyres that are the problem in a race. He struggles in the midfield most of the season, sometimes getting close to a good position, but accidentally ruining it in his enthusiasm and drive to get there. He’s not the only rookie with that problem, so while it’s frustrating, at least it’s not just Callum’s problem. 

Callum isn’t in Italy a lot over the summer break, divides his time between holidays with his family and a trip to the United States. He does text Marcus, of course, even calls him sometimes, but it’s not the same as being back at home - because that’s what their apartment is to him by now. It’s a relief to be back in the paddock in Belgium, to get back in the car - and also to catch Marcus in the paddock. They might be in different series, but they’re still at the same races. 

His relief ends on Saturday, in lap two of the feature race. He’s never seen an accident that bad. The FIA statement later that evening confirms his worst fear. Callum doesn’t even have to say anything when he knocks on Marcus’ hotel door that night. There’s nothing to say, nothing that’s going to make this hurt any less. Marcus lets him in without a word, watches Callum crawl into his bed with a pillow over his head and just curls up behind him, comforting hand on his back that lets Callum know he’s there if he does want to talk. He doesn’t, but he appreciates the offer all the same. 

Later, weeks later, when the worst grief has dulled down a little bit - though not enough, Callum realises that he went to Marcus for comfort. He never goes to anyone for comfort, he always separates himself from everyone else and wants to be left alone while he processes what happened. But being around Marcus, strangely, had a soothing effect on him. He was even able to sleep a little, though he did wake up from nightmares a couple times, seeing it happen again and again. But even then, Marcus was there for him. 

It’s a realisation he’s not sure he’s ready for. He’s pretty sure that this goes beyond friendship, beyond any friendship Callum has ever experienced, at least. He doesn’t really have anyone to talk to about his feelings - aside from the fact that he _hates_ talking about feelings because it makes him uneasy and uncomfortable and he’d rather take some things to his grave than express them out loud. And yet, Marcus gets him to talk a few months after. He’s still embarrassed of the full breakdown he had, finally discussing everything that happened in Belgium. It’s good to let it out instead of keeping it all with him, bottled up and tucked away somewhere it can’t hurt him. It’d be unfair to both his friends to pretend it never happened, so while talking about it hurts, it makes him feel better afterwards.

Callum knows he’s absolutely fucked, well and truly gone, the second he stares after Marcus who’s walking around the house shirtless. It’s not even that this is a rare occurrence, because it’s not. He knows damn well what Marcus looks like without a shirt. It’s just the thoughts that it puts into his head now are far less innocent and far more inappropriate than they were months ago. He’s not sure what to do about it, because he values Marcus as a very close friend, doesn’t want to lose that at all. Marcus is so familiar to him, he feels like an extension of Callum, like family. There’s nothing he can’t say to Marcus, and there’s nothing he can do to drive him away. 

Aside from admitting Callum is in love with him, that is. Yeah, Callum hates coping with feelings - any feelings - and this would definitely be classified as one. God, why did he have to go and fall in love with his best friend?

* * *

 **Bonus - Lovers**  
His moment of realisation complicates things. Not between him and Marcus, obviously, but for Callum himself. He swings wildly between wanting to tell Marcus, just get it all out in the open, and swearing to take this secret to his grave. He’s never really kept anything hidden from Marcus on purpose before, and he’s pretty sure Marcus is starting to suspect something is up. He can’t lie to save his life, and Marcus knows that. It’s Callum’s birthday - or well, a few days after because he was on a plane on his actual birthday - and they’re in Macau. Callum always enjoys Macau, loves the vibes of the city and the thrill of the track. One wrong move and you’re in the wall - it’s challenging for all of them. It’s definitely not his first time in Macau, he knows his way around by now, but Marcus doesn’t. Despite being in different teams, Callum takes Marcus around the city, shows him all the best parts and takes him out for dinner.

“We should go out after the race,” Marcus says thoughtfully, mouth full of sushi. “I’ll pay for the drinks, we haven’t done anything for your birthday yet.” 

It feels like a date. It’s not, Callum knows that, but the urge to take Marcus’ hand while he shows him around is getting almost overwhelming. “Yeah, that’d be fun,” Callum replies with a smile, instead of the _I’m in love with you_ that comes to mind. 

Marcus has a terrible race. Callum’s isn’t bad, but it’s also not the win he had in mind - he didn’t even make the podium. Marcus looks very much ready to go out and forget about the whole ordeal when he shows up at Callum’s hotel room later that evening. He looks good, wearing a black shirt and skinnier jeans than Callum has ever seen him wear. God, he really hopes he still has a functioning brain-to-mouth filter once he’s had some drinks, or he might end up telling Marcus he looks hot. What? He does. 

The clubs are packed, they run into a lot of other drivers who are also out, either celebrating a good race or trying to forget about a bad one. Callum doesn’t go overboard on the shots, mindful of his own tendency to spill secrets after a few shots. They end up on the dance floor together, Callum having to hold on to Marcus’ waist so he doesn’t lose him in the crowd. They’re pressed together far too closely but Callum’s enjoying every second of it, realising this might be the only time he has Marcus this close to him. It’s later, much later - Callum has no perception of time in here, not with Marcus against him - when Callum realises they’re still pressed together even though there’s a lot more space now. 

He must’ve stilled for a moment, because Marcus turns around in his arms to look at him. He looks so good in the dim lights of the club, hair all over the place and lips parted. Callum is leaning in before he knows what he’s doing, lips just fleetingly brushing over Marcus’ before Marcus turns his head. The rejection stings, and he could really kick himself right now. What the fuck was he thinking? He lets go of Marcus, ready to accept being turned down and that he’s just thrown their friendship in the bin. He wasn’t expecting Marcus to take his hand and pull him along, out of the club and into the city. And he doesn’t let go of Callum’s hand either. That’s a good sign, right? Marcus hasn’t run off yet, hasn’t yelled at him or pushed him away. It’s a short walk back to the hotel, Marcus finally releasing his grip on Callum’s hand when they step into the lobby. 

“Marcus?” he asks but Marcus shakes his head, leads him along to the elevator. Callum is very lost right now, he has no idea what’s happening or what Marcus is doing but as long as he’s not getting yelled at, he’ll go along with it. 

Marcus doesn’t say a word until they’re in his hotel room. The second he closes the door behind them, he opens his mouth. “You idiot,” he hisses at Callum. “You can’t just kiss me like that in public, when there’s people around. A lot of people, people we know.”

It takes Callum a second to realise he’s being yelled at for trying to kiss Marcus in public, not for the actual action. “So if I kiss you now, you won’t turn me down?” he asks.

“You’re so stupid,” Marcus sighs. “I don’t know why I’m in love with you because there’s not an ounce of common sense in that head of yours.” He grabs Callum by the front of his shirt, pulls him close. 

“I’m a little lost here,” Callum mumbles, a bit distracted by how pretty Marcus is up close in actual lighting. 

“Did you not just hear me say I’m in love with you?” Marcus asks incredulously. “For fuck’s sakes, Callum.” He closes the distance between them, pressing his lips to Callum’s and pausing there, waiting for Callum to respond. It takes him a second to realise that this is actually happening before he kisses Marcus back. They start out sweet, but it becomes something more when Marcus parts his lips, lets Callum deepen the kiss. It gets dirty fast as Marcus pushes Callum up against the door, Callum’s hand wandering down to Marcus’ ass. They’re both panting when Marcus breaks the kiss and puts some space between them. “We’re not doing anything else while we’re drunk,” he breathes. Callum barely hears him, too absorbed in how Marcus looks right now, eyes dark, lips red - his stomach flips when he realises that _he_ made Marcus look like that. “Callum?”

He tears his eyes away from Marcus’ lips and looks at him, startled. “Yeah?”

“We’re not having sex today,” Marcus repeats and Callum nods. “We’ve had too much alcohol, I want to talk about this with you when we’re sober tomorrow. And I’d also like to remember the first time and take it slow.” A blush creeps up his face as he says it, Callum thinks it’s adorable, but he’s right. 

“Can I stay here tonight? I’ll keep my hands to myself,” Callum promises and it makes Marcus laugh. 

“Yeah, you can. Let’s just get ready for bed then, I’m getting really tired all of a sudden.” Callum can’t help himself - he presses another kiss to Marcus’ lips, because he gets to do this now. Marcus holds him in place for a second, making it a much longer kiss than Callum intended, but he enjoys it so he’s not about to complain. 

It’s not even the first time they share a bed, obviously, but the knowledge that Marcus cares about him as much as he cares about Marcus changes things. It makes things like curling up against Marcus’ back a lot better, but also a bit more tense. Callum is asleep the second he’s comfortable. 

He wakes up the next morning with his face buried in Marcus’ hair and their legs tangled together. Judging by Marcus’ breathing, he’s still asleep, and it gives Callum some time to really think now that he’s sober. It doesn’t change anything, really, because he’s mainly just over the moon and also a little baffled that his feelings for Marcus are mutual. He doesn’t allow himself to think too much about Marcus’ implied promise of sex once they were sober, instead focusing on his best friend in his arms and his body against Callum’s. He can feel it when Marcus starts waking up, stirring in his arms and his breath hitching when he realises where he is. “Hi,” he whispers, gently squeezing Callum’s arm around his waist.

“Hi,” Callum replies, pressing a kiss to Marcus’ hair. 

“We need to talk,” Marcus says, but he doesn’t look like he’s about to get up anytime soon, much too comfortable in Callum’s embrace. 

“I’m in love with you, you’re in love with me. Is there anything else to be said?” Callum says quietly. “Aside from the obvious _do you wanna date me_ but I don’t even think that warrants a question. Unless you want me to ask to make it official.”

Marcus huffs, rolling over in his arms to look at him. “Yes, I would like to be your boyfriend, you dumbass. But I think we should just keep it private, at least for now. We both have a lot on the line if we jump the gun on coming out.”

“Agreed,” Callum replies. “I’d just like to tell my family when I get home.” 

Marcus smiles at him. “Of course. I’m telling mine as well, my mom’s gonna want to have you over for the holidays.”

“She can battle that one out with my mom, who I’m sure also wants to have us over for the holidays.”

They just get used to each other and the whole dating addition to their relationship for the next few weeks, not going any further than some heated grinding until one of them inevitably has to leave the room to sort themselves out. Just the thought that Marcus is in the bathroom getting off is enough to have Callum whining, and he finally decides he’s had enough of the whole ‘taking it slow’ thing when Marcus teases him through his jeans, stroking him slowly through multiple layers of fabric and it’s driving him insane. 

“Bedroom?” Callum pants when he breaks the kiss. He doesn’t even care if they don’t get any further than hand jobs, but his desire to get Marcus naked is too overwhelming to control himself any longer. 

Marcus grins at him. “Thought you’d never ask.” 

They end up on the bed, Callum sitting up against the headboard with Marcus in his lap, both of them equally naked as they grind together, the slide of their cocks _so_ good. “Why the fuck did we wait so long,” Callum whines, loosely wrapping his fingers around both their cocks. Marcus seems incapable of sentences as he just kisses Callum again and again in between moans, fucking up into Callum’s fist until his mouth goes slack as he comes, spilling all over them. The noise Marcus makes and the realisation that his come is easing the way for Callum to fuck up into his fist tip him over the edge as well, adding to the mess between their bodies as Marcus slowly strokes him through it. 

They take some time to come down and enjoy the afterglow, Marcus still in Callum’s lap and kissing softly until Callum rolls them over, Marcus now flat on his back with Callum on top of him. He takes his time getting Marcus ready, going slow on purpose, sliding his fingers in and out until Marcus is panting and squirming with three of Callum’s fingers inside him. When Callum finally pushes in, slowly, until he bottoms out, neither of them last very long. Callum wasn’t aware that it’d get him so worked up as well to have his fingers inside Marcus, but the fact that he’s already close and he’s barely even moved yet is a pretty good indicator. He sets a slow pace, trying to drag it out as much as possible, but he follows Marcus over the edge when he comes.

“We should do that more often,” Marcus whispers eventually, having taken his time to recover. 

Callum chuckles. “Whenever you want to, just say the word.”

**Author's Note:**

> I will love you forever for leaving a comment <3


End file.
